so I really like this guy name Joe, not W., but he doesn't talk to me ever on Nexopia. Cause he rarely ever replies. He's either thinks I'm a bitch, fucking annoying, or he's intimidated by me, which I doubt.

I betcha anything he's thinks I'm a fucking bitch cause' I talked to him a lot at the beginning of the shcool year, then I stopped talking to him, cause' I get really intimidated by him every time I see him at school, so yeah.

But fuck, I hate it when I get so obsessed like this, cause' it drives me crazy when they don't reply.

I still like the other dude, but he's a moron. Well, he's not a moron, he's a fucking cutie pa tootie, he called me "dear" last night, AND asked me how I was, AND he started the comversation, which, in all, was a fucking bonus.

I HATE GUYS, oh God.

My mom is a fucking nazi, she's fucking insane, she nags and nags and nags and never stops talking. She's a fucking pig also, and a fucking hypocrite, for Christ sakes, STOP EATING, or at least stop trying to feed me all the fucking time!!!!!

Shit, it's liek she wants me to be skinnier by eating a hell of a lot more. WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT????!


YOUNG LOVE, WHY ARN'T YOU WORKING FOR ME???!?!?!?!?!
I feel so lonely at times, especially before and after my periods.

I wish I had more confidence wsith guys, or had that THING that guys look for.
I do'nt understand their thinking strategies.

I wish I oculd be comfortable with my skin. I wish I could be more out there, and tlak a hell of a lot better.

If I ever die before I'm suppose to and this gets found, and someone wants to publish it, I think I'd be embarassed if I ever came back alive.

Mayeb relieved that everyone found out about what I'm actually thinking?

So, the other day Devin m. traded me a lighter for a bus ticket, now I don't have to ask my mom for a new lighter. And I can smoke more stuff. I think I shouldn't do drugs, cause' I'll be addicted, no matter how many times I tell myself that I wont get addicted, I think I would.

Anyways, I wish I wasn't such a fucking nutcase. I wish I had my train of thoughts straightened out, and my speech impedement fixed. I like can't construct a proper sentence.





I'm so fucking overwhelmed with school work,
It's times like this that I want to drop out.
I hate SOCIAL STUDIES, it's so fucking useless,
especially if we keep on learning about Canadian History,
WE ARE SO BORING,
I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT LAND MASS AND INDIANS,
AND STUPID WARS OVER LAND.

I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT DEMOCRACY, WORLD DOMINATORS, AND POLITICS,
anda ll that jazz.


IT'S SO USELESS learning about climate.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??


WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING ME TO USE THIS??
like when I'm in the interior of Canada and I turn to a random person and say,
"I KNOW WHY THE WEATHER HERE IS SO EXTREME, IT'S CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE SO FAR AWAY FROM THE OCEAN"
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???
YOU MORON,
STOP GIVING US PROJECTS,
EVEN IF I WASN'T IN THE MUSICAL, I STILL WOULDN'T DO IT.
YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE MS SPRAY.
YOU NAZI, STOP IT
YOU'RE WORST THAN MR RHODES.



I CAN'T HANDLE ANYTHING NEGATIVE RIGHT NOW,
IT FEELS LIKE I"M JUST ONE BUNDLE OF EMOTIONS.
It's uckign lame.









gagh.asdasdasdkg
anyways yeah.
peace.