Post as many statements about people in your life.
Never tell which is directed to who.

1.You're my bestfriend for life, as least by title you are. We've faded so much, and it always seems like such a drag talking to you on the phone cause' 95% of the time you're not talking to me, you're too busy talking to your brother, or whenever I have a problem and I try to talk to you about it, you switch topics halfway through. We've had our good times, and we seem to never have our bad times, we definitely should keep it that way. We have to hang out lots this summer and show each other why were are best friends forever. Love you babes.

2. I never talked much because I'm timid around you guys, I'm so intimidated by you all. You all
have your special talents, you all are amazing at what you do. You don't worry about me leaving, don't blame yourself. You are NOT responsible for my growth in the group, or with the Him. It was probably the hardest thing leaving the group, but I knew I had too. I'm not meant for it, I'm not the right person. When I left I felt everything dropped, and I felt like I've lost it all, but I know it's not true, I know I'll get by. Keep it real guys, and keep doing what you all are doing.

3. I don't know what to think of you sometimes. You pay so much attention to her and not me. I feel so left out when I'm around you two. I just feel like I shouldn't be there. I know you know that we're fading. I know. I think you hate me, and I think it's true. You don't even aknowledge that I'm around. You're too busy with her, why don't you ask her out already? I just feel so parted.

4. You, you're too kind. You're so sweet. And I love you for it. I love it when you call me and talk to me about your problems, you have no idea how much it means to me. It's so cute. I want to be with you.

5. You use to be there for me, you did. You helped me out a lot. Then your life turned and you
went away, and now I don't talk to you EVER, and when I do we only get pass "what's up?" and you have to leave. Please come back, or at least come on more often. Good luck in Vancouver and Calgary.

6. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT. GAH. Shut up. Then again, so do I.

7. DON'T GO AWAY. You're my best guy friend. I'm going to miss you so much. It's not the best choice, and you know it. You know it, I know it, your mom knows it, everyone knows it. Call me up when you're in town. Good luck man. Don't forget me.

8. I once believed that you were my male equivalent. Now, I'm not so sure, but then again we don't talk much anymore. You were one of my best guy friend too. But one summer you went away and came back a differnt guy, a guy who was distant who wasn't the same. I hated it, I wanted to tell you badly but I didn't probably because you were so distant. I love it when you start conversations with me, cause' I always had to start them with you and I felt like I was bugging you a lot. I hate that feeling, when we're engaged in a conversation but I feel that you don't want to talk to me and that I should stop, so I say that I have to go but then I block you and pretend that I left, PS that's happened on more than one occasion, sorry.

9. you're such a cutie. I love you and your affectionate ways. :)

10. I'm so intimidate by you, love me.

11. Good times with you, we use to be closer. I love it when you come to me with your problems. I love helping you, I love helping everyone. But at least try to help me out.

12. I like you but it seems like we only talk when you have problems. -_-"

13. FUCK YOU.

14. I love you, you hottie. You better call me for coffee soon!

15. I don't know if I respect you or not.

16. YOU'RE WAY TOO COOL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! Touch me.

17. You introduced me to a really cool webcomic. I followed it for a while, then I stopped cause' it was hard catching up on them, I still remember you, even if you don't remember me. It's cool that you introduced me to a webcomic that I liked and followed cause' I don't usually do that.

18. I'm going to miss you next year! No more verbal beatings from you in the mornings, at lunch, and after school. I loved you and your sexual ways even if you are gross. We use to be close then you started to date her, we fell apart. Peace man, good luck and hopefully we'll see each other again!




I FEEL LIKE I'M GROWING UP WAY TOO FAST.
SO MUCH SCHOOLING THIS SUMMER.

My 99.9% confirmed courses for 2006-2007:
Semester 1: A - Math 11 Flex Principles - Ms CoeyB - Sr. Concert Band - Mr WilsonB - English 11 Flex Band - Ms Schlappner (still trying to get NJ instead) C - Law 12 - Mr HumbleD - Psychology 11 - Mr Humble
Semester 2: A - Social Studies 11 Flex - Mr. Lewis (trying to decide whether or not to switch out of his class) B - Sr. Concert Band - Mr WilsonB - English 11 Flex Band - Ms Schlappner (trying to get NJ instead) C - CP Art 11 - Mr Jung D - Physics 11 - Mr X (don't know who yet) OTT: Flex Service 11 (not actually a course) - Ms CoeySr Jazz Band - Mr Wilson Musical Theatre - Mr GrayJournalism - Ms Schlappner
Summer School Course: Chemistry 11Correspondance Course: Spanish 11

Jessica, your true talent is spatial ability

Your ability to visualize objects in three-dimensional space gives you a unique view of the world. Because of this talent, you are much better than most people at imagining new designs including floor plans, page layouts, and three dimensional objects.How do we know that's your true talent? While you were taking the test, we calculated your responses to each test question and rated your skills in 5 areas. You scored highest on spatial ability.People like you are usually great when it comes to putting together assemble-it-yourself furniture or other household items — whether the items arrive with instructions or not. Your spatial skills also help you understand the finer points of how things work.And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results. You also have other hidden talents that can have a dramatic effect on your career, your life and how other people see you.

Jessica, you're smartest when it comes to logical/mathematical intelligence

While others may have dreaded their math and science classes at school, these subjects were probably no sweat for you. In fact you may have even thought they were fun. Your logical/mathematical intelligence makes you the type who can enjoy working with numbers or thinking through difficult questions to arrive at a solution. Whether you realize it or not, this strength has likely been a help to you throughout your life — not just in the classroom. This is true because for work or recreation, people like you can tend to rely on your logical/mathematical intelligence to look at the world. From noticing patterns of behavior in people to being able to appreciate the visual beauty in a repeated design, your special brand of intelligence can make life both interesting and rewarding.

Jessica, Freud would say your personality is most affected by events that happened when you were between a year and a half and three years old.

Relative to others, your personality today is moderately affected by the events of your childhood. This manifests itself in surprising ways. For example, you have a tendency to be especially orderly or clean. Compared to others, you may also harbor a strong rebellious streak.

Jessica, you are Balanced-brained

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation. When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over. While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker. The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

Jessica, you answered 20 out of 30 questions correctly!

Congratulations! Your score is in the
percentile("87");
87th percentile. This means that if one hundred people took the test with you, your score would rank higher than 86 of them on average.When we analyzed your test, we also discovered that when it comes to pattern recognition ability, you measure in the
percentile("87");
87th percentile. This score indicates you have unusually strong abilities when it comes to detecting the underlying pattern in any situation, whether that pattern is in numbers, shapes, or words. You have a knack for digging underneath the surface confusion to find something coherent and useful to solve many problems.

Jessica, you're 29% masculine

This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with men.You're also 71% feminine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with women. When we compare your results with other women it shows that you are somewhat more masculine than other women.But what is gender identity exactly? A person's gender identity is defined by the extent to which they see themselves as masculine or feminine. Every person possesses both masculine and feminine qualities to some degree, however the extent to which each person has these qualities differs widely. While you were taking the test, we calculated your scores in 6 areas typically defined as masculine and 6 areas typically defined as feminine.

you know it
:)



Jessica, you're a Type 8 - The Leader

Friends, family, and colleagues probably appreciate your heroic strength and impassioned inner drive. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem, you can be counted on for strength and guidance. As a Leader, you're likely to be seen as a powerful and protective individual with a natural born sense of management in one form or another.Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Toni Morrison, an award-winning author and recognized cultural leader in the African American community, and Martin Luther King, Jr., leader of the American civil rights movement, were also type 8s.This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of willpower and self-confidence. In fact, you're the kind of resourceful, decisive person who is often committed to making things happen.

Jessica, the first color you chose reveals that you're feeling Intuitive today.

For centuries, colors have been known for their energizing, calming and empowering qualities. In schools of psychology, a leading color theory suggests that your color preferences can also indicate what's on your subconscious mind. From your choices, here's what we found out about you. Like other people who choose Violet first, you might pick up on things before they're evident to others. The fact that you chose Violet first also indicates that others probably trust your perceptions and rely on your great instincts.How rare is this color choice? 20% test takers also chose Violet first, but less than 0.10% of test-takers share your exact 8-color sequence.

Jessica, the best Zodiac Match for your personality is Gemini

Gemini, the Twins (May 22 to June 21): This adaptable and lively partner is just your type. Initially, a Gemini may catch your eye with an intellectual remark or their flirtatious banter. But as you get to know them, you're more likely to be drawn to your Gemini's creativity and ability to find the fun in any situation. People born under this sign are typically outgoing types who love to spend time with a variety of people. In fact, a Gemini's social butterfly tendencies can make them seem flighty or even a bit erratic at times. However, Geminis are also top-notch thinkers with original ideas. In the bedroom, you'll find the Twins to be equally creative. As a result, they can be very engaging lovers. Overall, Geminis are innovators with an uncanny ability to stay balanced in chaotic situations.Although Gemini is your strongest Zodiac Match, your responses indicate there are a number of other astrological signs that you're highly compatible with.

werrrd




Jessica, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Intense

You're wound up and have a lot going on. Others may have trouble understanding what you're going through, but they generally find your intensity very compelling and are drawn to you. This happens even without effort on your part. Compared to others who are also intense, you
are unusually quick to listen when others give you critical feedback. Only 2.1% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.

While this says a lot about you, there is much more to you than this. The 5-Factor IPIP Personality Test measures you on 30 unique personality traits, backed by over 70 years of personality research. This enables us to provide you with the most thorough, in-depth personality assessment available to you.

Jessica, you're a Dog!
C'mere, boy — in your former life you were a beagle named Scooter who hailed from Allamakee, Iowa. The cutest puppy on the entire farm, you were so adored that the Allamakee High Junior Varsity Basketball team chose you to be their mascot. You absolutely loved the attention — the cheers, the cool purple-and-yellow jersey, and, most of all, the pizza parties after the games. But you fell out of favor when your sister gave birth to Niko, a snot-nosed young pup who became the newest recruit for the JV team's mascot position. As Niko's popularity grew, the team began to neglect you. No longer did they chant your name when they held you over the basket to slam dunk the ball. No more did they make T-shirts with your adorable mug above the "Antonio's Chinese Food" logo. Then, finally, they fired you when you bit the point guard's mother. After much moping and grieving, you decided to be happy for little Niko. So, armed with your new contentment, you found it in yourself to support Niko and the JV team — not from the court, but from your new spot in the bleachers.

Are you as loony now as you were back then? Find out!

Jessica, you're a Scorpio!
The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're a SCORPIO. You're just like a water sign, which comes out in the way you're so in tune with your emotions and your intuitions. Your symbol is a scorpion, which represents your secretive nature and your ability to emit a powerful poison when vengeful. A bundle of contradictions, you have the ability to demonstrate both the best and worst qualities that characterize human nature. Generally, you are intense and passionate, yet stubborn and competitive. You use your intuition fearlessly, and you have a tendency to explore the nature of existence through the study of philosophy and religion. Although it is difficult for you to trust others, whenever you finally do, the result is deep and powerful. On the downside, however, you must work hard to suppress your jealousy. Your dedication, drive, and persistence will guarantee you success, and you are known and respected for your imagination and idealism.

Some famous Scorpios:
Prince Charles
Grace Kelly
Charles Manson
Kurt Vonnegut
Pablo Picasso

Jessica, your self-esteem is In Great Shape

Good for you! Your self-esteem looks pretty healthy to us! Maybe you don't consider yourself a total rock star, but our guess is that others do! Regardless of what other people think, you know that you're pretty darn great.You also know that a big part of feeling good and looking good is taking care of yourself and treating your body right. The key is in your attitude and not freaking out when you don't get the greatest grade on a test or when someone else has the same outfit on as you. You take it in stride and see that it's the big picture that matters most. Your mature and confident approach will surely take you straight to the top in anything you do. Congrats! Keep it up!


YE YEAH.

Jessica, your signature hairstyle is Bold and Bright

Hey, wild thing. You've certainly got it going on! A free spirit who loves to experiment, you see your hair as an expression of yourself — it could be serious and black one day, silly and pink the next, and everything from short and spiky to mysterious and long.A risk-taker by nature, you like to play around with beauty and fashion and do something no one else is doing. Even better, you're not afraid to make a few mistakes, especially if it means you get to ruffle a few feathers along the way. Go for it!


TRUE DAT

Jessica, the therapeutic approach most likely to benefit you is humanistic

You are particularly well suited to this orientation because of your desire to grow as a person. Most therapies, including the humanistic approach, rely on many different techniques. Some you could expect to hear about are transference, relaxation, and active listening. Based on your answers to the test, Tickle has assessed which of these specific techniques would most likely be effective for you.

Jessica, you're a Crimson!

We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Crimson vibe. Your ruby-red aura reveals your passionate, sensual nature — you're all about earthly pleasure. Whether you're getting a great massage or having a sumptuous dinner, you delight in experiences that fully engage your senses. (Crimson is, after all, the color of roses, wine, and velvet.) That's why it's the material things that really float your boat. If you can taste it, touch it, smell it, or see it right here, right now, you're all over it. After all, you're firmly rooted in reality, preferring to live in the present rather than the future. And you probably have a quick temper, too — most folks with red auras do. But you cool down quickly, turning your outspoken energy and stamina to projects with fast, concrete results. A hot-blooded go-getter like you is always in favor of instant gratification.

HAHAHAH
how true is this?


"Jessica, your eyes say you're Sincerely Sweet

Kind and genuine, you're the sort of gal who's always looking out for others and being a great friend. You have a big heart and can't help but open it up to those you're close with. When you're that pretty on the inside, you can't help but be beautiful on the outside, too.When it comes to makeup, you like to keep things light and low-key. But that doesn't mean you don't enjoy getting dolled up on special occasions. And when you do, we'd guess you only add to your already sparkling and sweet self. You glow girl!"


really true.

NOTO TO SELF:
I'm allergic to alcohol
or I got alcohol poison last night.

GOT HAMMERED LAST NIGHT.

and I puked my guts out at Glanford.
and couldn't breathe for some of it.
and I cried like a mothafucka at night.
never doing that ever again.
it was the worst feeling in the world.
the whole time I felt like I was disappointing my mom and God.
I cried because of that, and becasue I couldn't breathe.

it was terrible,
write more later.

is it possible to look at you without wanting you so much?
without being so attracted to you?
and, without the sadness that'll creep through me
when i realize you left 10 minutes ago.

c-c-c-courage

"People envy you for your courage. You have a heart of gold, and you're very brave. You're a self sacraficing human being that everyone thinks might be too good for this world. But don't listen to 'them', you're special. Courage is something people must learn to achieve and earn, but it's almost as if you've been born with it. You hate to admit somethings, but you have weaknesses and fears. People look up to you as a leader, and even if you don't want to be a leader, just know that there are younger kids that want to be just like you. Courage was what the lion wanted, but he already had it, he just had to look harder. "

it's got me pin point.


"Something tragic has happened to you and you're ashamed to share it. You try to escape from reality by creating your own little fantasy world. You think about...well, everything. From why we're on this earth to to how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. You're intelligent and know what you want, but you're to afraid to step up and take it. Now, you are just waiting for that moment where something so unexpected will happen. You want to be whisked away from this world by something not-so-human."

getting crunked on monday.

phoebe, maery, joce, and devon are sleeping over.

tuesday I'm hopefully getting my monroe done.
:) yeaah

I really hope no one finds this, EVER

CONGRATS MO AND INGRID.
leaving agian in half an hour or so for the banquet.
WOOT PARTY.


haha joe wants to know who I like.
:)
and joe likes someone.

mike d, what?
richard, what?
jake j., what?


werrrd

GOD,
I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE STUPID CONFLICTING THINGS LIKE RELIGION AND PIERCINGS.
why can't they just mix??
why can't it be alright!!!
why do I always feel so much guilt
about FUCKING LITTLE THING?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's liek I can never have any good, without a whole dollop of BAD.

FUCK.


ps I'm doing a hair time line
of my hair
it's going to take a while.
I'll post it, maybe.

BY THE BY
I GOT MY L LAST FRIDAY ON THE 16TH OF JUNE.
:D

I think I like mike,
and jake.
and cam.



TONIGHT I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!

I SAW SAM from nex.
He's so fucking AMAZING.
I love that guy so much.

I gave cam my number,
and he's going to call me
and we're going to have coffee.
:)

it's pretty fucking amazing.

I got closer to Blake and I told him how intimidating he makes me feel, haha.
I love that kid.

and I think phoebe hates me,
I was pretty obnoxious.

but he likes jessie.

damn him.

I THINK I'M GETTING SICK AGAIN,
and I like jake jansen.

I went to the candy store,
cause' I heard there was a new flavour in town-
"LOVE"
is what it was called.
It brings new sensations,
it's the flavour of flavours.
It's extraordinary,
no, more than that, it's unbelievable,
it's so beyond our heads it's imaginable.

I step in the store,
and was awestruck
by the sight of the shelves stocked of LOVE.

I jumped with estacy streaming through my body
grabbed a box,
gave it to the man behind the counter,
he said "dollar fiddy please"


I wanted Love,
but I only had 10 cents.

"LOOK OUT!
There's a future ahead.
Hold yourself back, and don't conform"
"But what if I want a future,
what if I want to get somewhere in life?"
"Who needs a life?
When you can be
one
of
us?"
"I don't want to be like you
I DON'T WANT A DEAD END JOB
I DON'T WANT A WIFE THAT SLEEPS AROUND TO
MAKE
MONEY
FOR THE
FAMILY.
I want to have high success for myself,
achieve things that were meant to be
achieved."
"How do YOU plan to do such a thing?"
"live life, and not hold myself back."

when he's offline I want to talk to him,
when he's online I don't know what to say to him.

.
.
.
.
.
.

*sigh*

Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs

Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead

Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go.

Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

I need a support system that wont leave me in the sight of distress.

FUCK.
-_-"


I want a support system that will last.

today was the last day that I lead worship. -_-"
I don't what I feel, or what I want myself to feel.
I feel like I've let down Richard, Jordan, and Momo.
I feel like they're going to fall apart without me, even though I know they won't
Cause' they are great people and they don't need to depend on me, cause' they've made it wihtout me before.
I feel like I should have known them before, cause' there was a lot of awkwardness and a lot of distance between me and everyone else.
I feel like I've dropped church entirely and that I'm not going to see Richard anymore, like how I don't see Gwyn anymore. But I know it's not true, I know I'll see Richard still during Sunday School, but I don't know for how much longer cause' Richard is probably going to go away for school, and I'm really considering dropping church in general, cause' I'm just not feeling it anymore.
I feel like I have nothing now.
Idk.
I just wish there was something else. I wish I knew them, or at least Richard.
He said that I have a special gift, I have talent. He said that I have a strong voice, even though Tracy sings on key he'll still think of me first. He says that I'm always welcome to go back on the worship team whenever I want.
but why do I feel so much guilt? WHY?
It's cause' I know they wont let me back on the worship team if I get my monroe.
I feel like I need to set myself back down to church standards by giving up something I love for something I'm going to get.
In other words, dye my hair back to black (or an auburn-ish color) just so I can get my monroe piercing, jsut so that I don't draw so much attention to myself. it's just not the attention that I want. Well, not from a bunch of old Asian people.
Cuas'e they talk and they talk really bad, they talk mean. And it hurts knowing that they're so two-faced like that. I know they talk about me, they probably say that I"m not good.
They probably question my faith for God, and honestly I question it too. I guess if I dont believe it, they don't either.
I can't play pretend and expect to win, I gues is what I'm trying to say.
I just feel like I need to impress everyone, and not let my parents donw.
I feel like everything I do it's all ending up with my parents and them getting blamed for my actions, and it's not fair. Cause' I hate it.
It's my actions they should say it's my fault.
But I guess that's what people do, right?
They make assumptions, and they give themselves their own conclusions to stories.
But I hate doing that, changing myself just so I can make my parents look good,
just so I can pretend to be that girl that I'm not.
I'm fat, I shower like once a week, or once every 3 or four days. I dye my hair as if I'm a walking gay parade. I want a monroe piercing to show my individuality; to show my unique-ness.
But I don't want to have to compromise for something I love, for something I believe in.
I want to be able to do both wihtout guilt, without fear of condemption. Wihtout people talking about my family and I behind our backs. I don't want them talking about me to my parents about me behind my back, cuas' that's all I hear when I ask fro a monroe piercing, my parents tell me how much people think of my hair.
I FUCKING HATE THAT. jsut shooot yourself for me please.
shit, WHY do I feel like it's all my fault?
When nothing has happened, and nothing bad is going to happen.
I feel like as if I was running a relay and just stopped right before I got to the other person.
Like I just let down the whole team.
I don't know if this is God talking to me,
or jsut my guilty conscience for something I didn't do wrong, or at least I don't think I did.


I think I'm just going to talk to Richard or someone.
I need someone. -_-"
Fuck, I'm a loser.


I didn't get my monroe pierced, the place wasn't open.
happy father's day.

I don't know if I regret dropping out of the worship team or not.
I'm relieved, in a way.
But guitly in many other.
the worship team before they changed it all use to be so good.
Matthew and Gwyn was such good leaders,
and Bill was just intimidating, they never made me do anything
Unlike Richard.
I guess I freaked at the sight of pressure.
But honestly I'm too "hardcore" for church.
I don't fit in AT ALL.
They are so much closer with each other,
they love God a heck of a lot more than I do.
I don't know, I feel so outcasted with them.

Matthew was cool.
He was like me in a way.

she's anorexic pretty.

give me a man that'll sell me for a good price.

empty your soul out, and have your heart facing up.

today's been a weird day.
it's been one of those days
that have it's extremes.

School was pretty average.
I did all my jazz band requirements during band class
after school
a math textbook dropped on my head
it was painful
my eyes teared, aha.
-_-"
I miss cody.
I miss him not being there at school.
I want his lif to be normal.
WTF.
Joce waited with me after school until 3 for my dad to pick me up to go to church for worship practise
I got there Bill showed up, we sat tehre for a bit.
we chatted.
I SUCKED AT PRACTISe.
I froze like a fucking penis in the winter.
They made me do a solo thing and I couldn't get it right that I just got really silent
and couldn't sing it.
It got to the point where Bill said "do you not know how to sing it, or are you just shy?"
and they made me do it on repeat
over and over and over again
and every single time that someone didn't sing with me
I just got silent
and didn't sing it right.
YEAH, fuck.
And I have to do it on Sunday.
Afterwards my mom picked me up
we went to ICBC and I got my L.
:)
FUCK YEAH.
then we went home had dinner,
and I went to a teens event at Telegraph bay beach.
And had a bonfire type thing, and hung out and sang.
Then I came home and dropped out of worship team.


:)


PEACE WORSHIP TEAM.


richard prayed for me,
how fucking lame am I?

get your fatty acids in here
she's anorexic pretty

MOODAFOOKA...scratch that

MOOFADOOKA
:)



GETTING MONROE DONE THIS WEEEKEND!!
:)

and doing my driving test, tomorrow???


GETTING MY AWARD TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

to buy:
-hairspray
-hair bleach
- razor
-hair stuff

JEFF KOSTER CAN SUCK MY ASS.


I HATE HIM SO MUCH SOMETIMES.

he makes me feel so stupid sometimes
I know for sure that I"m a lot smarter than he is.


He's so fuckign imamture
and I jsut want to kick his fuckign ass to hell.


he think she's so fucking tough and smart,
he's not.



he can go suck my ass.


FUCK HIM

I'M A FAILURE,
NOTHING BUT A FUCKING FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'M FAILING GYM,
cause' I skipped so much!!!
I HATE MYSELF.


I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE THAT EVERYTHING WILLL WORK OUT.
I'M FREAKING OUT SO MUCH.


AND I HATE JOE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
GAH.
I HATE MY LIFE, hahaha.


but really, honestly.
I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW.






self hatred is the only thing I can count on, bro.











I want to run away
and start a new life.














just start fucking over.














fuck,

have I ever shared with you about my point of view on religion?

well let me start. I believe there is a God up there. I believe that there is a heaven and a hell. I believe that he is there to even the world out of good and evil- karma.

Yeah sure I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins. Sure some of the 10 commandments are morally correct. Like what if people steal to put some meat on his/her bones? Sure adultery is wrong, I don't agree with it. Swearing isn't bad if it helps you relax. There is a right and wrong way to do things, you know. Maybe except for adultery, rape, murder, suicide, and some others. I don't know what I'm trying to get at here.
But yeah.

I'm pretty open minded about other religions, I'm not going to condemn you or anything if you talk about your religion with me.

I was brought up in the Christian beliefs. I still attend church every Sunday, am on the worship team. I believe in God. I believe that Jesus is the son of God, I believe that he died for our sins.

to be honest, I'm not all that convinced about my own religion. I know nothing about it. Yeah, I've been going to church since I was 5 yrs old and now I'm 16. I don't know anything. And that's pretty pathetic if you asked me.

Yes, I sing songs about Him, I lead people in worship for Him, but never really understand the whole meaning behind it. I know people take it seriously, but I've never really taken anything really serious. And it's bad, I know. But I enjoy what I do.