drained, and restless dayseven scriptures disapprove of such responsibilities.Over worked, and continuous over achievementsnothing more than just awards on top on mantles covered in dust.Striving to learn, striving to be the one who's the exception to the lawthe law of standard, and being normal, the law of being average, and going through the cycle.
Make believes, and false hopes are the only things to rely on

quality bonding time with peter, dylan and Lisa. yee yeah


I hate those stupid little grade 8 bitches, golly. I never wanted to destroy such a population EVER. haha. -_-"


they're so annoying and immature and have no respect for their elders, fuck .

I just ended up screaing at them at the end when we were trying to get off the bus.

they're so stuck-up, fuck .



but alst night it was hell a fun we playe d anight game something to do with a tower.
the objective is to touch the tower, but on the tower were Ben and Mike and they had a bright flashlight that they would use to serach for people and if they find anyone the person would have to go back to the starting point and get a nother piece of paper that says that they're not caught already.

Lisa and I were togehter and we were on teh grounfd, crawling, rolling in shit, haha. it's so good.
We were like "one two three ROLL" we treated it as if it was like war or soemthign, haha.

and whenever someone came by we were like "hold on, keep still, down" hahah. and they would walk right by. it was so good. haha.

it's funny how I could be sitting right bseide my mom, dad, or brother and I could be writing shit in here like I WANT TO FUCKING kill themn or shit like htat.

haha.
-_-"


I want to smoke some weed right now.
I've started smoking q-tips and paper again.
Such a stupid and bad habit.
I want actual cigerettes but I'm too chicken to actually ask for some.
-_-"



I don't want Scott hating me or think I'm some big loser because I don't smoke weed.
I do want to, but I told him I didn't.
I'm so stupid.
:(



gah, maybe I'll straighten things out with him I don't know.
He stopped talking to me right now I told him that I have smokked weed before, eeer.
damn him. I want him. haha.
I'm so desperate it's not even funny.


god, there's this guy Dustin, he's such a cutie, and I want him too.
-_-"
I'm so stupid.
hahahaha

it just seems like whenever poeple need help I've ALWAYS there to help them,
and go out of my fucking way to help them and when I ask for them to return the favour, they fucking leave or tell me to fuckign calm down.
THat's not what the fuck I want to hear, it's fucking shits.

I'm so sick and tired of people's ignorance and their arrogance, fuckng suck my coak for crying out loud.









I'm sick of people's shit.
I just want to be apathetic, and a fuckign sociapath and get over with life.
I'm on teh verge of a emotional fucking breakdown and just blow up in everyone's faces, and just not want to care any fcukin more.
shits.

I'm so overdone, and everyone is just abusing every fucking thing that i have to offer them.
My love and my dignity.
fucking good bye, to fucki.









I just need love.
fucking love is all I need.

I've been working way to much, the only good part about is that I get to see hot guys, friends visitng me, and pay-day even though we should be getting 9 dollars an hour just like the new people. It's fucking lame how they're ripping us off.
I don't know if I like Sandy or not, she talks so fucking much shit, and I want to kick her.

God, I like people too easily. I met this guy Scott, he's so sweet. I'm such a hopeless romantic, fuck. hahah. he compliments me so much. He calls me pretty, tells me that I look really good in my fur coat, that I'm cute; that we should hang out, that he wants to see me move it; that I should go partying with him and shit. He's cute. He even said that I'm down to earth, :).


I respect Chris..kris?
Even though he frustrates me sometimes till no end.
He's a good guy and he means well, he's just blunt .. that's all, haha.

I make him sound like a maniac sometimes and I regret it a lot of times cause' he's not.
He's so smart and he just has a lot to say, and as do I.
We just don't really agree with each other most of htt iem.

but yesturday.. err thursday .. for the first time it seemed like he actually cared about me, well maybe the second or third time. But it meant a lot last night because I've been so fucking emotional lately and things just havn't been going my way.

Every time at the start of the lesson he would ask me how it goes and we just talk about the past week or so and what not, and on thursday I just said "I'm tired, restless and stressed.. and I need more sleep" or something like it, and then half way through the lesson he was like "yeah, now I can tell that you are tired.. you usually have more patients" It's cute, and I appreciated it. My friends doesn't even seem to notice my lasck of energy and shit, and it's fucking ridiculous.
I'm getting really fed up with the "friends" that I have. It's fucking lame, and I hate them so much sometimes. They just don't seem to care as much as I do for them.
FUCK THEm.

I don't know, I just felt like someone cared on thursday, it felt good to know that. My "friends" ignore me a lot, and I'm fed up. I just want to fucking shit kick their asses like no fucking tomorrow, and just tell them off. but I'm afraid of losing everyone, I'm afraid of being a lone. But if I did lose everyone, I would transfer over to Spectrum. And it's fukcing lame how I have to think like this, I shouldn't have to if they were my actual friends, and cared for my fuckign ugts, shit./

But they're so fucking oblivious it's a fuckign joke.


RYAN IS ONLY 19 YEARS OLD, oh yee. ;)

Life is a fuckign bitch, some people just work harder than others just to achieve the same fucking goal.


CAMP IMADENE, so glad to be getting a way from everything.
SHIT I'm so tired of teh same thing everyday, same shit differn't story, shut the fuck up.


FUCKING HELL.
I'm just so angry at the fucking city of victoria, and everyon ein it.
well almost everyone.

why doens't anyone like me more than a friend for once?

I guess I'm just worhtless,
I guess I'm just not right
I guess I'll just due alone
fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.

the fugitives are fucking amazing,
so jealous of their talents
I can't write worth shitl.

I don't know if it's becasue my period is coming or if it's just came by it self or what.


but friends arn't dependable worth shit.
FUCK THEM.
ignorant assholes.

best fucking day of my life last night!
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CONCERt
it's fucking unbelievable
they were fucking amazing
flea is a GOD, fo sho.

Ali and I sat in row 14 seat 2 for the Mars Volta openeing,
but then we moved down to the front row (side balcony kind of thing) to where joce and devon were sitting, to wait for the chili peppers to come on,
so when the lgihts turned off Joce and Devon hopped the fence/gate thing and got onto the floor without getting caught.
So a couple of minutes later when the Chili Peppers were on Ali and I wanted to get onto the floor as well, so we waited until the security guards back was turned and we booked it,
then this lady security stopped us and we thought that we had gotten caught so we showed her our tickets anyways and she just pointed towards the middle isle and told us to go there and so we did and we just kept going closer and closer to the stage and we were like 4th row from the front in the center, it was fucking amazing, chad, flea, anthony, and john were so fucking close I could have fucking shit myself or something, it was the best moment of my life, and I jsut felt myself let go and danced my ass off. But 15 or so minutes later the security guard camed and checked out tickets and got another security guard to escort us back to our seats. so then alki and I just went back down to where joec and devon were before and dance our ass off there.

oh god, they did an encore and everything and had mars volta's guitarist playing. It was fuckign awesome, they had so much unity, and they were so together and shit. It definitely chamnged me, and makes me want to be a dakmn good bass player liek Flea, cause he would just break out into little bass riffs and I was lie "SHIT, I want to be like that, I want that to be me up there". I want to be good. I want to be like him. He's the man.

BEST FUCKIGN DAY OF MY LIFE.


but I didn't really enjoy Mars Volta, it really bored me and ali too. Maybe it was our seats cause' Joce and Devon and Maery really enjoyed them, and joce and devon were in front, and maery was on the floor up front. And ali and I were just in back of the middle section.

It was fucking awesome,
but when I was tehre it didn't really click in for me that I was actually seeing the Red Hot Chili Peppers, it was as if I was jsut watching them on tv or some shit like that. It was unreal,


BEST FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE.

FUCK YEAH.

I SAW THE FUCKIGN RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, that's fucking rights!!!
SHIT MAN.

BEST DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE.




I CAN'T STOP SMILING.

I'm so glad I went, best day of my life right there, coudn't have asked for more.

but it was too bad that they didn't play under the bridge, otherside, 21st century, hard to concentrate, and other good songs like that.


they playe dmostly songs from stadiukm arcadium, a few old songs and one or two really old songs.


it was the best fucin dya of my life.




fuck fuck fuck, I LOVED IT.
the best I've been in a long time.

"friendships good especially if you don't have another choice"

shit fucker.

I choose work,
I choose isolation,
I choose sucess.

they think they can prevent me from being isolated, from being bored,
but yet ironically they're doing the exact as they said that they wouldn't.
fuck them.

I choose to do both, and this is where I ended up.
I chose both,
I got one.


hard work gets no where.


work hard now, party hard later I guess.

I choose work.

I do'nt even know why I depend on them so much, when really I don't depend on them at all.

shit man,
fuck friends and h0w "dependable they are"


fuck you all. thanks.

be proactive.
be a better person, be the best, do better, succeed; Get a life, get married, have a family; Find love, find trust, show honesty; Seek adventure, be entertained; Accept yourself, conformity is wrong, respect; Who are you? What's your morals? Show your pride; Take notes, read it, learn it, and change it; be confident in who you are, transform your self-esteem; Keep self-reliance, give everyone a chance, confide.
be who you are.





FUCK JOCE.
shit man.

Jessica, your personality is shaped by your Logical nature.

Your clear logic makes it easy for you to be direct and reasonable in your thinking and communication. When trying to make sense of an ambiguous situation, you probably prefer to consider facts and past experience over all other approaches. For example, it would not be unusual for you to choose a tried-and-true approach to reasoning over an idealistic one.
But that's just the beginning of what this projective personality test can tell you. The pictures you saw in the test are ambiguous — they don't inherently represent anything on their own. But they elicited responses from you nonetheless. Your impressions of what the images mean, or the characteristics they possess, is one of the most reliable ways to determine aspects of your personality.

Jessica, your confidence level is high

As a result, you may tend view yourself as a wonderful, lucky, or energized person. However you probably also have your days when you don't feel so hot. After all, you're only human. Because of your usual high level of self-acceptance and belief in yourself, you're generally open and accepting of others. People who come in contact with you likely appreciate this generous nature and may seek out your company. Your intelligence seems to be the trait that you most value in yourself of the five main traits that affect confidence. You also seem to appreciate this characteristic in others.Want to find out how you scored on the other four traits crucial to confidence?


umm not true??

Jessica, your most positive energy is flowing from your Sixth Chakra

This chakra is located in the center of your forehead and is often called the third eye. The sixth chakra represents your ability to see and really know truth. In your case, this chakra appears to be clear and unblocked so that positive energy can flow from it freely. Radiating positive energy from your sixth chakra indicates that you've cultivated higher wisdom concerning the important life lessons associated with this energy center. You're apt to be accepting of the people and events in your life rather than pass judgment on them. You're also likely to have developed a higher level of intuition than most people have.
Whether they're allowing positive energy to flow or preventing it from doing so, all seven of your body's chakras contribute to how you are feeling on a day-to-day basis. When they're balanced, you feel energized and at the top of your game. When they're unbalanced, you may feel tired or 'off'. While we have focused on identifying the one chakra that allows your positive energy to flow most freely, we have also discovered the ways your other six chakras are handling the passage of energy.

What is your Healing Sign?

Chiron in Cancer

If Chiron falls in Cancer in your chart, you bear the pain of a lack of love. This placement posits someone who feels unworthy of love and turns their energy outward, giving too generously to everyone but themselves. You sacrifice your own pleasure to avoid the pain you feel. At the heart of Cancer is the need to nurture, make a home and seek security. Cancer loves to bring the downtrodden into their arms and nurse them back to health -- they're always taking in stray cats and relatives fallen on bad times -- but with Chiron in Cancer, they neglect their own pain. Rather than giving all your love to others, Chiron in Cancer encourages you to give love to yourself. Unlike other Signs, with Cancer, you must give your time to your OWN cause for a change! Cherish your own need for love and nurturing and you open yourself (and your wound) up to the world, allowing love to flow back to you. Once you concede that you need love, you can give of yourself again, this time in a more balanced, healthy way. Allow for self-indulgence, a well-deserved reward you give yourself for all you've done for others.

pretty much made me cry almost.

caressed and slithered,
hand movements,
round and round.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK UFUUUCKK FUCKERS> hdadkljkljJUST UFKCING SHITl . SUFK< C.

FUCKING KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING WORHTLESS OVER ACHEIVING PIECE OF SHIT!!
FUCKING DIE, GAH I HATE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
well I guess that would be my life.
AGGAGAH.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
SHIT HEADS AND SHIT.
DIIIE MOTHER FUCKER>


I NEED ANGER< AND I NEED IT NOW,
I NEED A ARGUMENT AND I NEED IT NOW.