fuckign shitty day today


jon's brother, jeff... got hit by a 60 year old drunk driver
dan's dad was the 60 year old drunk driver
dan is so devastated
I wish I could help him in some way, but I can't. He wont let me.

I feel so stupid right now, I said some stupid shit becasue i dind't know it washis dad. I was just jokingly saying that it was his dad, adn he was like "it was my dad"

and i was like"no.. stop it, it's not"

and he just ketp on saying "it was my dad"

then he started to tear up,
and I grabbed him adn was like "woah.. are you okay"

and he said "it was my dad"

and my heart just stopped..and I went blank.
I immediately apoloigized.

I was just like "I'm so sorry Dan, I didn't know.."

and I tried to hug him but he just pushed me away, and turned away

and I was jsut like "it's okay.. it's going to be oaky.."

and I just stopped talkikng..

it was so stupid..
I should have clued in.

I ahte seeing my guy friend sso upset to teh point where they tear up..

I really hoipe he's okay.

I want him to be okay.
I want him to tell me he's not.

i want to help him..


JOn is oretty pissed off about the whole thing. I don't blame him. he's in the hostpital right now visitng jeff.



also, todya I was supposet ot ogo to a funeral. It's my dad's cousin's brother. So I didn't really knowhim.. actually I don't know him at all. But I can't stand funerals. They impact me for the next fews days also.


I jsut want shit like this to stop happening.

I want the world to be content.

no violence.

no hate crime
no drunken accidents
no nothiung.


fuck i'm sick of hearing about this kind of dumb shit.


I jsut came home, smoked a bit.
andjust sat on the kitchen counter,
and just think.


it just sucks like a motherfucker.


it's kind of ironic though cause just last week we had the MADD presentation.




fucking hell.
it's going to be all over the news,
and in the newspaper, and they are going tomakefuckignshit up and make dan's dad sound bad.

I hope his fmily is okay.

I really od.


I was suppose to smoke some pot with joce anddevon tonight but weston doesnt' have the weed.

it's lame.







today fucking sucks.


I just want it toend. right now,right here.