band trip in 15 DAYS!



and I think I have a big fat crush on my physics teacher. :)

my rough exterior is a definite cover up for my raw interior.

I wish that I didn't have to go to school tomororw!
I'm so sick!
ti's sucks.

I feel so weak, and depressed.
it usually goes hand in hand for me.
-_-"


it just feels like I'm going to faint all the time
like i cna't walk very far or else I'll get really dizzy, and contorted........


but I cna't miss school tomorrow because i have an english test, and a phsyics quiz thing.
-_-"





whatevvvvvvvvvs.
GET BETTER SOON ME

oh yeah

and happy valentine day!



annnd I'm 99% done my newest painting, I'm so pleased with it :)

I wish life would just work more towards my way.
I have bad luck with things..


or maybe I just look at it the worng way.

I'm so stupid.



fuck.

I want to stay young, and know where I'm going to be at for the next 4 or 5 years, and who I'm going to see. I'm tired of losing touch with people, it sucks... it happens, and I know that. But I don't want to.

IWANNABELOVED BY YOU.













I want to be realllly talented.
I want love
I want to be fuckng happy
I want to be gorgeous
I want to be noticed
I want to be not so fucking shy around guys I like

I want a boooyfriend.
I always want a boyfriend,
it's as if they know that I'm desprate that they avoid me. it suckkkks nooka.


they ALL always end up liking joce.

fuck that.


i'm so sad.
it's lame.

band fashion show was tonight!
it was so good!
though not enough senior kids!



and the grad dresses were so pretty!
and all the guys looking good!

but it makes me so sad knowing that we're going to be the oldest in the school next year.
I'm not ready for that.
I'm use to be the younger ones.


I don't even know what to do with my life yet.
It's a scary thought, and I don't want to even think about it.
but the problem is....... is that I have to.


I have a thumbnail sketch of what I want to do.


here it is:



- get accepted into UVIC, do a year there, and see how it's like? I guess... or for just the hell of getting it over with.
- then take a year off, maybe work or go to china and teach english for a year.
- or travel for a year, like Spain, Greece, Thailand, Tibet, or Venice.
- then apply for cosmetology school in china (but if they only accept fluent chinese, then in america or canada)
- Mayeb go to school in China? But without the speaking of chinese or reading, because I can't do either very well.
- or maybe go back to school at UVIC, if the whole cosmetology thing doesn't turn out right.
- if it does go right, then find a job to do with Cosmetology
- maybe get a job with a hair salon
- maybe work for a year, I guess? I don't know
- thhhen maybe a bunch more schooling? I don't know.



welll ahahah, that's all that I have for now.

I've been content lately
and hense me not posting very often.
:)





werrrrrrrrrrrrrd


well it gettings near valentines day.
and here I am sulking in my own pity of loneliness. sucks to be me, fo sho.




I just want to show chris/kris that I CAN belt it out, but I'm just too shy, and it's not like he's asked me too.

fuoook.
whatever, tyra is almost on.
and I want love.


sooooooooooooooooooo since tyra is the only thing that I can achieve today, I'll go with that,


LATER DAYS.

I've been in a really CREATIVE mood ever since I fucked up Joe's hair.,


annnnnnnnnnnnnnd I really did do robbie's hair!
I wa sso sure that he went to a hair dresser, cause it doesn't look like what I did to it, I don't know, maybe he did, but he's just saying I did it because Im' always there when someone asks him about it.
-_-"

I don' ktnow.


but whatever him saying that I cut his hair makes me really happy :)





I LOVE LIFE?!
hahah


physics is easy so far.
and I still hate mr lewis.
it's communism at work I swear.

" what happen to those sunny days? where we belonged"


oh chantel.

so I drove home today from mayfair, SCARY.
and I learnt that I can't drive straight, double scary.



ummm I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GET BACK INTO THE GROOVE OF THINGS.

like it used to be where it was all academics, and no fun.
And straight on studying, while being a busy bee.


-_-"



I miss life.
and I regret so much, always.
-_-"

SOOOOOOOOOOO
I DEFINITELY, think that Robbie went to a hair dresser and got a haircut..


fuck.

I suck.

and I feel so shitty,.

but on the plus side,
I spent pretty much 12 hours with Robbie, whic was HEEEEEEEELLLA cute.

I love that kid.

we pretty much just played with my instruments.
And afterwards we layed on the living room floor watching tv and laughing our asses off watching Reba.

so goood.
:)

definitely fucked up joe's hair BADDDDDDDDDDDDDLY, and had to cut it all off :(
I FELT SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA,
I almost started to cry casue' I felt so bad, and my mom rubbing it in my face like a 5 year old idn't helo.

I ALLLLLLLLLWAYS think that she's going to be more mature than I give her credit for.


Robbie's turned out A-okay, except that bangs a LIIIITLE too straight, but it looks cute on him if he doesn't wear it straight to the front.
:)



and bald is a good look for Joe, though I wish he had hair. :)