oh and this morning I was still a bit high..

and I went to church and was like "FUUUUUCK I'M GOING OT HELL" hahahaha




and about ross. Fuck I wish something happened between him and I, but at the same time I'm glad nothing happened with him and I last night.

I don't really know what ot hink of him anymore. seriusly.
like he acutally makes me fell SO stupid sometimes and like an idiot.

but other times he could be really cute, and fuck he makes me feel so embarassed about little things.



shiit... why can't he just like me?

but I think I like Graham, as well.












fuuuck, i feel like they're going to think I'm so stupid becasue of all the pot i've smoked.. but honestly that was only the second time I've ever doen it. And I don't want them to think that I'm a pothead, becasue I'm not, quite francly. FUUCk, I wish they weren't there to witness that. I don't mind if they hear about it, I jsut didn't want them to see it. I was so embarassed to show my face to them afterwards, haha.


I couldnt' even look any of them in the eye.

I felt luike their respect for me lowered, fuuck. I hope they still like me, shiit.


but wahtever, I wouldn't have done anything differnet if I get the chance to re-do the night..
excpet for maybe get in some more ross time and some graham time.