so lisa hella has my back more than joce or them in the whole 4 years that i've know them.


fuck, I really like ross. And I wish joce wasn't such a bitch about it.


the other day when I told her that I liked him she just kind of gave me this look like "why would you like him?"

fuck.


whatever, lisa says that she's going to try and make it happen.
I actually think that if I'm left with him for a long-ish period of time I might just ask him out. There really hasn't been any good timing for him to ask me out or for me to ask him out.


My parents actually makes me want to commit suicide, but only on metaphorical terms.
They'res so fuckign immature that I just can't handle it.

my mom, all she EVER do is NAG NAG NAG NAG, and do whatever my dad does. And ALL she does is coomplain about him too!

my dad, fuck I can't do anything right. I gave hiim my interm to sign yesturday for enlgihs and I'm getting 83% most people would be happy with that... but all he ever has to say is "Get an A next time"


it's like FUCJ YOU BUDDY, do you think that I'm TRYING to get a B fuck you.
what am I not trying?
why don't you take it for me, since you insist on living through me.

FUCK YOU.



shit, I hate all this pressure to be something that's just fucking amamzing.
or mayen not that amazing.
but whatever.



I ahte life sometimes, and I mean it in all aspects.

sometimes I feel like there isn't anything for ME to live for.
sure I have a lot of talent, but what am I EVER going to use ti for? I can't do ANYTHIGN with it because I freak out when I'm under pressure


but I think that's because it's all thanks for my dad's great words of "encouragement"


this words "INADEQUATE" flashing at the back on my head, kind of pyschs me out a bit.

jsut a bit you know? enough that it'll screw me over if I ever try anything.


Im so stuck in a shell.