I'm in one of those moods where I just want to cry.
but I can't becasue I'm surrounded by people and if I started crying like a madd mother fucker people would look at me kind of strangely.


P.S, I got into a big blow-out with my so-called Dad.
This past sunday (today is wednesday)
and I havn't talked to him since.
And, I am A-OKAY with that.

He tried apologizing after the church service
and it was fucking stupid
and didn't sound sincere

I ahte him so much,
there was so much more that I wanted to say to him but no human being in the world deserves THAT much of "Jessica's Anger" in one blow... Ig euss.
-_-"






fuck him,
and I don't know how I'm suppose to deal with him until one of us goes first.


fuck EMO
shit, it's like the only thing around still, and it's fucking stupid.
EVERYONE JUST GET OVER YOUR FUCKING SELF.


be fucking happy, and appreciate what the FUCK you have.

EVERYTHING is so fuckign materialized that no one has any appreciation for ANYTHING.
they act like they do becasue of the little infomercials about the ferral and poverty-stricken kids in Africa.

why don't you just do a whole FUCKING segment about Family and children EVERYWHERE who have the shorter end of the stick of wealth.

Why don't we just trade lives with them for oneday?!
you know why people don't do things like that? Because we couldn't last one day in their shoes


Little fuckign rich kids are fucking complaining about if they don't get to go to Europe during the Summer they'll fucking blow-up

SHUT THE FUKC UP.

shut the fuck up before I go through my television and fucking beat you up.




this is what happens to me when I'm at home too much.

I have my fucking license and I"m fucking home,
WHAT ID UP WITH THAT?1
I'm sort of excited for school becasue it gives me some sort of a life?!
but whenever it gets close to the end of the semester I start slacking, ebcasue I just don't give a fuck anymore

it's like wehn you're doing a 800m race,
you don't go as fast as you can when you start off the race casue by the end you don't have enough energy to finish the race.

That is what happens to me
I just give it my all in the first few months of the semester, and then when it gets close to the end I just don't have the engery for it all









I juts don't want to try anymore.
I am a failure


but next year I just want to get it over with
I want my grad dinner dance
and I want a date to go to it with.
But like that would happen.
-_-"


I'm pathetic.



I want to go to the gym more, but I'm so out of shape it's embarassing to do something like that
I want to go do aerobics becasue i have a free pass for one session of it
but most of all I want to join a basketball team
but like that owuld happenn because I'm so out-of-shape now.
-_-"


plus, I hate running for the hell of running