so i'm pretty much in love with richard davis, haha.

today I think daniel said "what chu gonna do with all that junk?"

richard:"in your trunk"
me: " what did you say?"
richard: "in your trunk"
me: "what chu trying to say"
richard: "notyour trunk daniel's"
me: "yeah, whatever"
richard: "jess, i love your trunk"
me: ".....*blush*... wooo, you're making me blush" hahah

AHHHH< hahahahaha. so cute.


god, i just love guys.

I"M LEAVING TODAYYYYYYYYYYY. i'm so frekaing nervous an excited at the sametime!!

most definitely had like a breakdown today, hahahahah.

i was just overwhelmed and stressed about things.
and my mom was just annoying me immensely, so i just slammed the door, and started to cry.

werd.

i'm s freaking tied right now.

-_-"

i want to blaze, but there's no time. I need to sleep.

I went out to dinner with michelle and kayla quan. w went to white spot. :)

I ordered the bc chicken burger, as i usually do.

today, has ben pretty hectic.
during my b block this moring i drove over to wal-mart and bought $50 worth of stuff, and then went home and washed all of my bras. then booked it back t school.


I STILL NEED TO GETREEEDS, fuck i'm such a flail. \

the one thing that I needed the MOST, i forget about.

bt that's bcasue the store wasn't opened till 9:30am. -_-"


hopefully someone can give me a ride to larsen's music tomorrow.

i still need to pack FHP... gah the downside of being a ladyyyyy.

I think i might be liking ross again, but I cn't really tell. Probably will byu the end of the band trip.

:P

i just want to be happy with myself.

i just want to be okay with the way i look.


i'm sucha poste child for teenage angst, and emo's.

but igots ta peace this.

;aterrrrrrrrs

so today we got a new laptop, camera and mp3 player and assecories.

so last night, I had a pretty good dream..
one of the best dreams i've had in a while

well itinvolved gerry, and no it was not sexual.

I was just hanging out with him, and we were just habving a great trime. we were together and it was just what i had wanted. we were so happy together, and i don't know...

i was just cuddling and just being so happy.
like the happiness that i had been hoping to find for quite some times now.

i wish i had more dreams like that. i wish i didn't have to have dreams to find happiness, i wish it exists in reality, what i had with him in my dreams.


I wish I had that kind of happiness. \

I'm actuallyt quite unhappy with the state that i am in, and the types of friends that i have.

i don't know.


\i'm so thankful for michelle to be in my life, but i just hate that she's leaving. feels like every one has asperations to leave and live their lives and be able to be happy and free.

while i'm stuck here dwelling in my own demise.

it's so stupid and i'm so pathetic.

i iwish that he knew how i feel about him. but i just feel that he feels like he's wasting his time on me everytime he talks to me, like i'm bothering him, becasue he never seems interested and it's like "FUCK YOU BUDDY" sorry for trying to be nice.

fuck him. i don't know.

i try. i think. i don't know.


i got my tooth implant yesturday. it went realy well. i tjust feels so qweird everytime i smile.

i like don't even know how to smile, it just feels so weird.

i havn't actuallyhave had a full tooth in there since kindergarten.

it's been so long, but it's been good? idk.


I'm happy with it.


yesturday, i went out for dinner with michelle, kelsey, and kayla. at montana's. but it was really rushed for michelle and i because we wanted to go see step up 2 at 7pm, and courtney came as well.


so we booked it over there as soon as we were done our meal which was like 7:15

then i drove home, they came along and we blazed at the halfway mark.

werrd.

well.... yeah. it's the same old same ol, i guesss.

lately... I have been very motivated to NOT go to school.

I just don't want to go.. I just want to skipi class and be at home.

I feel like crying and beating the shit out of anything, ALL THE TIME.

I don't know what's wrogn with me.

the only that'll curb it is if I blaze....


fuck.

I want to buy a mini bong, or a bubbler pipe..