so I've defintiely gained some major weight.
and am getting hella stupid.


I need to STOP eating so friggin' much. :(




fuuuuuck, I want to find a date to grad :(

I suck at being a person.

I really do.

I just want to get high right now, and I havn't even felt like this since like a month and a bit ago.

I want to be like courtney. She's frickin' hot, and just knows herself so well.
but i dont' know.

there's plenty of people that I wishI could be.
i know that that's not how i'm suppose to be thinking like, but fuck that.


I hate myself.

I hate the way i look.

i hate how I'm just pathetic.
I'm all fucking talk.

all talk.

fuck this.

I just want to kick some fucking ass.\

I need to know who i am, in order to get someone i guess I don't know.

i sound fucking pathetic.


but that's because I am pathetic.

I don't llike showing my true self i guess cause' that's what it is..

fucking pathetic./

I wish I could just tell someone this.

I wish that I copuld just fucjking talk to someone.

I just need advice and motivation.
\
i really need to lose weight.;

or else I'm not going to fit my dress.

:(


I have a hair consultation for my extensions on tuesday at 3:30pm.



I want to move out.

but i dono't want to fditch my mom or my brother.


i just want to be fucking happy with myself, fuck.

I want to be thinner.
I want to be toned,. i want to get some fucking self esteem.

I want to look good and feel goood.

I want to be able to go forf runs without thinking that eveyone is making fun of me sayin "look at that fat girl run"


I wish taht I was comfortable with myself.
\
\but I'm fuckign disgusting, I'm a fucking pig.


fuck kkkkkkkkk me.
fuck./

I let ever guy go that I like.
but that's becasue they never know.

fuck me./

shit.

i'm a waste of flesh. \
i want to go on a diet,
i want to go on a run
i want to be able to cimb a mountain without having to stop and take a breather.
i'm fucking pathetic.


i really am.
iu'm unhealthy and unfit.

fuck.



i hate the fact ath I can't get a guy,
but I do'nt want to throw myself at guys

i don't want to ditsy
I want to get guys likethat

but then I ALWAYS end up being one of the guys instead of being the centre of their attention

fuck that


fuck.