i find myself sad and pathetic, with no life.

im lonely, and i have been lonely for about 20 years now. that is sad.

i have no one but myself to solve all of my problems. what the fuck is the matter with me?

what the fuck is my problem? am i repulsive? then why do i find myself repelling people to love me?

I've never had anyone come and jsut take care of me, and love me the way that i want to be loved.

I want to be comforted. but yet, time and time again i find myself comforting myself.

I'm ashamed to let people know. I'm embarassed.

I'm just one big embarassment. I'm just one big joke. I just can't help but feel emebarassed about myself.

I have ALWAYS been an embarassment, as a person, and to my family. and my friends.

There's something wrong with me. I just want someone to love me, is that so hard?

Everything else I can provide for myself, except for this.. someone else's love.

That's all I need. at least it's the only thing left for me to experience. But yet, somehow.. I'm just pathetic. People don't want me like that.

I'm always just the girl to hear out everyone else's problems. I'm just the girl that's always just there. I"m jsut the girl that doesn't have anyone to call her own.

I'm a loser. I'm a loner. I'm a failure. There's nothing about it.

I have become one of the biggest failures I know. I'm sad and pathetic.

I have fucked up my whatever I had going for me, all because of distractions. all because I just want to be accepted, and to feel like I belong somewhere.

I fucked up for drugs. I fucked up for stupid shit. Sometimes I hate what I've become. I had so much gooing for me... I guess I still do.

I hate the way that I am. I hate the way that I talk. I hate how stupid I have become. Like literally stupid. I'm just flat out stupid these days. I have lost my sensibility.

I have lost my reasonable self. all for nothing. I let things get in the way all the time, and i can't stop it.

I don't like myself. I hate how I cut people off when I talk to them. I hate how I don't really listen, or care. I hate how I forget things all the time. My short term memory has gone to SHITTTTTTS.


I think I'm just terminally depressed.

I don't know what to do with myself.

This may be the stupidest thing you've heard, but I honestly cannot see myself living my life fully. Like to the end. I just can't really think of myself living that far.

I wouldn't want to if I'm dying alone. Jessica Leung have always been alone and will always be alone.

I just can't help but feel so inadequate. I can fake a lot of things, but I can't fake the way I feel.

Who the fuck am I? and what the fuck do I have going for me? ... nothing.

I hate the fact that only since I've lost a bit of weight that guys have been checking me out.

I hate that. fuck guys for that shit. fuck you.

Why am I so angry all the time? Why am I so sad all the time?

I just want to be happy and loved. Loved in the way that's not just friends.

WHy wont anyone love me? Why? I can't help but think it's me. I can't help but to have no self-esteem. I can't help but to have no self-confidence.

Sometimes I just don't want to do this anymore. I just want out. I hate this shit. I hate feeling this way. I hate crying for stupid shit like this. I hate being such a loser.


I feel like a kid. I feel like I"m so immature. I feel so young. I feel so demeaned. Quite frankly, I feel like an idiot.

I feel so fucking alone.

I'm definitely pathetic when it comes to guys. like... really pathetic.

I don't know what to say, how to act. I jsut make a fool of myself, as always.

I just want to go.


It's true, I don't stick up for myself. I let people step all over me. and milk me for what I'm worth. I can't help it. it's jsut who i am. pathetic.

I want this feeling gone. I just want to be fucked up on drugs all the fucking time.

I don't want to be alone anymore.