seriuosly, i'm fed up with being so fucking alone.


but yet, why do I find myself waiting around for a guy? Yeah, he told me loves me. but what the fuck, then why the fuck arn't you ready to talk about it?

I know, i'm being selfish, and just want it right now. but fuck, i don't want to wait. I've BEEN waiting for 20 fucking years.

it's been so long that I find myself to be pathetic. That seems to be the word that I use to describe myself, alot. and i mean it.

i am fuckign pathetic. but at least these days, i have confidence. I have lost weight.


and I do have attention. but why do guys gotta be so fucking skeezy? why can't i just find myself a nice boy, someone who gets me? soemone who'll just do things for me without being asked? someone that'll just show that he loves me. someone who'll just chase me.

someone who will show me that they love me, and want me.


someone who will give two shits about what I say, even though it's something stupid.

someone who will just appreciate me.

no normal guy wil want this fool right here. nobody in their right mind.


I have convinced myself that I will be dying alone. it's fucked, and I know.

but for some reason, i just believe it. i believe that no one will ever love me.