soooooo i don't understand what he wants from me

i don't know if he's scared, or if he's gay.

he has told me that he's bi, but he has also told me that he loves me.

he treats me so well, but i don't know if he's treating me like every other person out there.

i don't understand what he wants from me.

we went to the dirty dome on friday. $20, and i was gone for the night.

like, i knew that we were going to be dancing together throughout the night, but i didn't know that he wanted to dance with me and only me the whole night.

anyways, i was trashed and i kept kissing his neck and face, and he kept telling me no, or stop that.

but then we'd be grinding and he kept touching my kiki, and rubbing it and what not so i let him. he kept grabbing my tit, i let him. but i don't understand why he kept telling me no, but yet kept on doing these things to me.

and at one point this guy came up to me and started grinding on me, so i danced with him. he kept trying to grab my cooch, but i would hold onto his hands, and bring'em back up. justin comes back from his smoke, and sees me grinding with this guy. i thought that maybe he would just go and find his own girl, but no.

he just started to grind me from the front, and the guy in behind.. justin was like.. swtich, switch. so he just took me and replaced the guy, and the guy was pissssed apparently. likke, little things like this makes me so confused, because i don't know what he wants from me.

we fucking gooot it going onn, we were so dirty on the dance floor, it was ridiculous. but i just don't get him.

is it too much to ask for a guy to make the first move? or at least the guy that i like..

is it a sin that i feel like i have found the guy that i want to get to know, and to let him get to know me in all aspects.

cause' for some reason i feel like i don't deserve it. things like this don't work out for me, and i feel like it never will. i feel like i fall for the wrong guys. and i don't know why.

he fucking loves, cares and respects me. he knows me. he's sensitive, but he knows when to be a man. he protects me, and he's always there for me. we're on the same level. he's fucking smart... i donk't know he's just got it all.

i'm scared i'm going to lose him, i'm scared that i wont have him.


i know i need to talk to him, but i'm scared.